tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28900845461003266132024-02-18T23:36:36.779-08:00with love, the rednecksAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-57256461044782990482014-11-13T07:18:00.001-08:002014-11-13T07:18:50.495-08:00Off the gridSo it's been a while. A long while. In fact, crazy amounts have changed for us! <div><br></div><div>In May, we sold our house. And we bought a travel trailer. Then moved into my in laws front yard. </div><div><br></div><div>It was kind of crazy. I love my inlaws and they love us but that was just too close. So we moved out back and decided to build a small cabin to live in. </div><div><br></div><div>We are still building. We just put the woodstove and chimney in last night. When it was -15. We are sooooo close! </div><div>Technically, right now we are off the grid. We have to subdivide and drill a well. We live off a generator, have an out house, and I pack jugs of water from my inlaws. It's been a learning experience. </div><div><br></div><div>But we are excited to be out of the trailer!!! Travel trailers are not built for -10 living. We have a expensive time keeping it warm and have crazy ice buildup. We have a nice travel trailer but Stetson has no space to run and there is no place to put anything. </div><div><br></div><div>That's mostly us right now! I can't believe it's already the middle of November! Christmas is in a month! 😁😁😁</div>Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-2949356434271049282014-03-12T12:54:00.001-07:002014-03-12T12:54:43.565-07:00Are you offended?The online world. It is completely entwined in our lives. Phones, computers, social networks, television. People campaign their thoughts and opinions and ideas and emotions. Some sensor what they say, others don't. Some people hate, some people "propose".<br />
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Both my husband have Instagram. We post pictures of our lifestyle online which includes hunting and trapping, butchering, fishing and outdoor activities. There has always been haters. People have wished death upon us, told us we were dirty trailer park trash and many much more profane things. At first, it bugged us. Now we don't care. Lots of people don't understand or believe in our lifestyle but we do, and that's what matters. We offer advice and tips to those who ask and we enjoy it.<br />
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Ever since the "emergence" of social networks, it has seemed like our society has turned us into haters, lovers, professional judges on all topics, made us pushy and bossy and defensive and someone always has to have that last word! Everything is offensive. Everyone is our judge that we so willingly accept into our lives. People get so caught up in everyone else's "reality show" that we don't focus on our own lives. I am guilty. I have been the judge and the judged. My husband is actually the one who made me realize how ridiculous I was being. I would pipe up something about someone we know distantly and he would look at me and say, "I don't care. It's not my life. You shouldn't either."<br />
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I, of course, get irritated cause he's right. It's also made me consider what I post online. I don't need my Facebook page to be a reality show for the world. Facebook is a convenient tool for me which is really the only reason I haven't deleted it yet. I still consider it on some days though. And I realized something.<br />
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I am married, I have a wonderful family who I love, extended family I appreciate and love, a house to clean, meals to make, goals, dreams, a body to take care of, a Heavenly Father who loves me. My life is my life and my opinions are my own opinions and people may get offended but does it really directly impact them what I think? No. I have my own problems and I really don't need the acceptance of the world when I overcome them. My reality doesn't have to be a show. I don't need to get offended over other things that people think or say. Because it doesn't really matter. I don't have to be accepted by others to accept myself. I don't have to choose to push or proclaim or be offended. Because it is a choice. It's also a choice to type it into your media device to tell the world.<br />
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<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-57188701849250873352014-02-17T10:51:00.000-08:002014-02-17T10:51:02.432-08:00Trapping WifeMy husband has a trapping license. We also currently live smack dab in the middle of town in a little 1200 square foot house with a carport that serves as a skinning shack/shop/storage room. This year we have been pretty active trapping and have friends that drop off coyotes and critters for us to skin. A couple days back, I decided to make a list of 10 odd things that come with having a trapper as a husband.<div>
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1) Your chores for the day may include hanging washed coyotes to drip off.</div>
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2) You might end up washing door handles and light switches daily because your husband leaves a blood trail.</div>
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3) You may come into the bathroom and have anything in the tub. Whether it's a fisher thawing out or a wolf soaking.</div>
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4) Your laundry room or living room could possibly have things thawing or drying at any moment.</div>
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5) You believe in air freshners. A lot of air freshners.</div>
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6) Your sewing may include hides on a stretcher.</div>
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7) You may walk out into the carport and see a carcass hanging at any time of the day.</div>
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8) Your town run may include dropping off furs/skulls.</div>
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9) Your husband may ask you to wash the truck cause blood is hard on the paint.</div>
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10) You end up warning people that there might be dead things in the carport/house so don't be alarmed.</div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-63379499191176739122014-01-31T11:59:00.003-08:002014-01-31T11:59:42.533-08:00ValentineI focus a lot of this blog on venting my frustrations, letting of the past and anticipation of the future. But I would like to take a moment and focus on my present blessing.<br />
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My husband.<br />
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In the past, I have stated the difficulties of marriage, things that have impacted mine negatively and positively. Last night, as I was loading the dishwasher, I had a fleeting thought that I went back, retrieved and pondered.<br />
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I am so very thankful for my husband.<br />
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I am grateful for how he sacrifices daily to provide for our family, rain or shine, sick or not. I am thankful for his selfless attitude towards me. How he thinks I am sexy no matter how I look, whether I showered that day or if I am nine months pregnant. I love the fact that when I ask him what he wants for the future, the first thing he states is that he wants me to be happy. He picks up the load when I breakdown or fail and doesn't judge me for it. He holds me when I cry and sometimes cries with me. When I have a hard day, often his first question involves asking me what he can help with. He comes home and shovels our driveway or folds laundry or picks up our son and goes to play with him. He has more faith in my abilities then I do most of the time.<br />
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I love him more then I thought was ever possible. He is my rock and an amazing father. And with all my shortcomings, I am amazed he picked me. But I am so blessed he did.<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-36225552954159272212014-01-29T11:33:00.000-08:002014-01-29T11:33:49.737-08:00RollercoasterMy son turned one on the 23rd of January. One year old. I remember the day I found out I was pregnant. I had a suspicion. I was overwhelmed by the fear, the excitement and the nausea. It was just the beginning. The next nine months were a extreme of emotions. I got married, I threw up, I worked in camp till I was 6 months along, we bought a house and I spent most nights in my bathtub begging my womb bound baby to let me sleep just a little bit. People warned me to get my sleep in before the baby came and I got the verbal warnings of just waiting till my baby was born and then I would see or understand or "get it".<br />
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Then I delivered my baby. He was adorable. I wasn't necessarily overwhelmed by love at first but by the fact that I was responsible for a little person now. I had no idea what to anticipate.<br />
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He was colicky and fussy and frustrating. I grew to love this little person that demanded everything from me as we both cried together in the middle of the night when I didn't know what else to try. I was told it would pass. Often my husband would find me on the bed bawling because I was so overwhelmed and exhausted, I thought I was the most awful wife and mother. I wasn't dealing with this well. My baby was gaining weight well with breast milk but at 4 months, we decided to opt for an antidepressant. On formula my baby changed. He was suddenly happy. I didn't have to buy gripe water 3 times a week. But I gained 50 pounds in 6 weeks. And it slapped me in the face. I stopped the medication cold turkey and the depression compounded.<br />
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Over the next couple months I realized some days are good and some days are bad. My husband wants to come home to a happy wife so somedays I put on the happy facade and its ok for a couple days until I crash. I want so much to be the happy wife and mother that it's become a fear that I might fail. Other days I actually have a good day. But I started getting migraines that warrant trips to the hospital. My anxiety is through the roof and I have to talk myself from having a meltdown. I am stressed about money and my family and whether I will make it through the day. I am guilty for crying/begging/yelling at my baby to please stop screaming at me so I can just make dinner and attempt not to have an emotional breakdown. Sometimes I just lay in bed and start crying. I don't want to be touched or talked to. I don't want to sit on the couch. I don't want anything. My body is on edge and tight, every nerve feels raw. My mind is so on edge its shutting down. I can't remember anything and it feels like I am living in a fog to prevent myself from freaking out or maybe my mind just goes foggy cause I don't have the energy to freak out or care. Somedays my body is heavy it's so exhausted, not tired, just drained.<br />
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There's lots of days when my baby makes me smile as the tears roll down my cheeks, when he runs to hug me after he just got in trouble that make my heart ache with love for this little person who has literally in so many ways turned my world upside down. I couldn't imagine life without him and when we are apart, I miss my baby. He makes me feel a whirlwind of emotion. Happiness, joy, worry, frustration, guilt, love. I love to watch him progress and to watch him think and learn and laugh. I get irritated when he pulls my hair, rips pages out of my cookbook or presses buttons on the stereo system that he knows he's not supposed to press. But then I hold him and for that brief second of blissful calm, I feel the joy.<br />
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So here I am today with a toddler. I am not sure that I will ever "get it" but I also know this past year has been the most frustrating, rewarding, revealing year of my life. It's been hard on my marriage and on me but things are getting better. I see friends getting pregnant and having babies and hope it will be easier for them then it is or has been for me. Because this has very much been the start of a personal journey. Everyday is a fight for the people I love against all sorts of adversity, sometimes against myself. There will still be many nights I am sure where my husband asks me why I am crying and I honestly will have no answer for him. But we made it a year. And I couldn't imagine anything different.<br />
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<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-91735277123055341682013-12-17T13:32:00.002-08:002013-12-17T13:32:36.188-08:00Hi, my name is Anna and. . . I have a hobby. I love learning about people. I love learning about minds and how addictions, nurturing patterns, habits, abuse and personality all work to make up the complexity of a person. I spend a lot of time reading about different studies and different observations of human behaviours. In addition, I learn a lot about myself. Lately, I have learned something different about myself though, a side I always hid well or never wished to exhibit or accept.<br />
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Hi, my name is Anna and I suffer from anxiety.<br />
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I always thought I dodged the bullet with anxiety. I have family members that highly suffer from it but I never accepted the possibility that I may have it as well. A couple months ago, I started getting atrocious headaches. To the point where I could barely function. My doctor suggested tension as a source and I brushed it off. Tension? I don't have that much tension. Fast forward to a couple months later, I have been taking some serious drugs for back pain and headaches and I opted for the chiropractor. She recommends a massage therapist because the muscles in my upper back and neck would take her too much time to work out and I wouldn't benefit as much. Oh well that's ok is my thought process. Fast forward to two weekends ago, we were lynx hunting and Christmas tree hunting. Not a big deal right? Wrong. I felt so nauseous. I was stressing out that I couldn't look for Christmas trees and lynx tracks at the same time. My muscles were tense. My back started aching. I was in pain. I wanted a perfect Christmas tree and what if I missed one? What if we couldn't find one? I couldn't look into the sun anymore. My husband looked at me and asked me why I was so grumpy. I wasn't grumpy! I was stressed and in pain and frustrated and irritated. I was dangling in the no man's land between snapping and crying. But I don't suffer from anxiety. My constant worrying had nothing to do with it. And it was literally over nothing important.<br />
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This weekend, we had a really busy schedule. It seemed like every moment was booked with some sort of goal NEEDING to be accomplished. Usually I thrive in high demand situations but I only do on my own. If Jarrod starts stressing, I feed off it almost and end up beyond stressing. I want to make him not stressed so I stress myself out with his stress which makes for a high strung Anna. On Sunday afternoon, I hit a brick wall. I opened up. I had a mini freak out. I finally told my husband my worries. I told him about the Christmas tree, I told him the road conditions were stressing me out, the fact I would have to drive a truck pulling a trailer, I told him I was worried about leaving Stetson. I told him I was stressed about being worried. I was stressed out from being in pain. I was worried I wasn't a good mom. I was worried we might get stuck driving in the snow. I worry about dinner, Jarrod's safety, about not having clean clothes, about my house being clean, about not having any talents, about not visiting friends or family, about having no time for anything it seemed. He laughed, looked at me like I was slightly crazy and it slapped me in the face. I am anxious. I am an anxious person. And for some reason in the last year it has escalated significantly. I find different people stress me out, every situation seems to have a trigger. And there seems to always be a side of me thats freaking out inside even though I may be all calm on the outside. There seems to be a couple different Annas! The strong one, the one falling apart, the one so stressed out she's scared to move, the one thats got it together and telling others it's not a big deal, the emotional Anna, the feeling amazing Anna, the in pain one, the scared Anna, the defiant one and the submissive Anna. Oh I am sure I am missing other ones for sure and I suddenly feel a pang of sympathy for my husband. He has to deal with them all. The fear and worry of failure seems to have overwhelmed and overcome my little anxious, seem to want to be a perfectionist at everything life.<br />
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I can't "fix" it unfortunately. It is something that I will have to deal with on a daily, monthly, hourly basis I am sure. I know I am not alone but the thing about anxiety is that you feel alone and you try to say you are anxious about something and people laugh or think your completely nuts. Or you try and brush it off and it goes into that bottle that presents itself as irritation or temper until it finally explodes and you are in full meltdown and it's hard to pinpoint a cause or a solution. The last few weeks have really demonstrated to me how poor mental health is so much an all encompassing factor in the lives of those affected. I know there are days that I feel it on a very physical and emotional level. To all those who are affected as well, you aren't crazy, alone or overemotional or a hypochondriac. Depression and anxiety often walk hand in hand and they are very real. I know there are days when my brain just checks out it seems because it's had enough. It's hard to concentrate or focus or think and I feel like I am swimming and I can't seem to come up for mental air. How frustrating it must be for my family but I know I am the one who is frustrated the most. But I will make it through. There can always be improvement.<br />
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I am not alone.<br />
<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-2663382440283973972013-12-09T12:48:00.000-08:002013-12-09T12:48:57.403-08:00Why we will teach our kids to trap, hunt and farm.I was not raised in a farming, hunting or trapping lifestyle. My parents had a few chickens and my dad is a horse lover so therefore owns a couple horses but we only had a small acreage so I was raised a want-to-be-country girl. I moved to a small town in British Columbia and proceeded to meet my husband whom some describe as the ultimate redneck. I then learned about a lot of things that I had never learned about before. I learned how to shoot a gun, I learned the difference between a Hereford and a Red Angus, I learned how to set a marten box and still have many other things to learn.<br />
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The experience that led me to this post happened because of our trapping this winter. We had been asked by a couple ranchers to set out traps and snares for certain predators, one of which being wolves. It didn't freeze fast this year and we have had some trouble finding bait for such animals. One rancher was even willing to shoot a cow because their wolf issues were so bad. I called around highway maintenance and local dairies and farms letting them know we are looking for animals that we could possibly use. I was also part of a couple horse sites on Facebook. Trying to target a horse dense community, I posted that if people were comfortable donating or selling their fading or passed away animals to us, please let us know. Oh the replies. The scathing and absolutely atrocious things people said after that were insane. Obviously these people have never seen an animal brought down by a predator and I understood that but they didn't have to be so rude about something they didn't even remotely understand and that totally affects them in ways they do not wish to see.<br />
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And I started thinking. My children will be adults one day and how would I want them to react to a situation such as this and why we are working to raise them the way we are. Many of the people replying got offended that I would ask for a dead animal or their beloved pet to bait yet another animal to it's death. Many thought it was cruel or disgusting and stated so very profanely. My thought was that I would like to educate my children to be smarter, kinder and better then that. Some things I would love my kids to learn include:<br />
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1) There is always work to do.<br />
One thing I am learning, there is always work to do. Things are always need fixed, animals need watered and fed, traps need fixed and built and checked and your life revolves around the work. Christmas day, -40, raining or snowing, things need done and you don't get rewarded with a paycheck every two weeks. Lots of times, it isn't about what you want to do but about what needs done. The work often comes before your comfort or schedule. We are the caretakers of our animals and they trust us to be fed and cared for. We serve them and they serve us often in life and in death.<br />
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2) Purpose and respect for animals.<br />
Every animal has a use on the farm. Chickens lay eggs, dogs herd cows and keep predators away, horses work cows, cows and pigs provide income and food. The better you train, feed or maintain your animals, the more you will get from them. I am a horse lover. I know the more time I put on my horse, the more friendly and useful he becomes. Hunting and trapping is also teaching me that respect. We always try to take the most painless, ethical shot and I get upset if I do not succeed. We realize animals can be beautiful and dangerous. I have come understand the impact they make on an ecosystem and the work it takes to put one in the freezer or on a stretch board. All animals we harvest serve a purpose. Whether it's the fur, the meat, ending pain or protecting other animals, there is always a purpose. And that to us is respect.<br />
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3) Death happens and sometimes it's not about you.<br />
I grow emotional attachments to animals but I know one day they will need to serve a different purpose. I will bawl my eyes out when the first horse I have ever owned dies but I will not want to sit back and watch him suffer till death from disease or old age. We will have to put down animals whether it's a foal who broke a leg or a dog that's irreversibly ill, pet or not. It's a point in life and things don't deserve to suffer because someone's emotional attachment makes them selfish. Death isn't pretty or uncommon. Both I and my children will see it first hand but it will always happen and sometimes it will be about feeding our family, protecting our livestock or ending pain. Sometimes it will happen in childbirth, with disease or uncontrollable circumstances. It's happened for thousands of years and will continue to happen.<br />
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4) Even toy guns aren't toys.<br />
Regardless of what people think, we are not people who wield guns in an irresponsible, foolish way. Guns are tools that can become dangerous with distraction, inexperience and irresponsibility. My husband has got after me for certain mistakes I have made with a firearm that has allowed me to make it become dangerous. Our children will never be allowed to point any firearm, toy or real, at another person without getting in serious trouble. This is part of the reason why my husband and I have agreed not to invite video games consoles into our home. A game that simulates shooting other people seems way more detrimental to us then a day on the farm, a day checking traps or a hunting trip. Shooting an animal serves a purpose, shooting a person does not. Real or fake.<br />
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5) Things don't always come from a store.<br />
Our meat doesn't come from a store usually. I would love our children to learn how to harvest an animal for their freezer, how to grow a garden, how to preserve the fruits of their labours for future use. I am very much in the learning stage of canning, butchering and preserving but I would love to become confident with it so I can teach my children where meat actually comes from, how to plant seeds and make things grow and how to put those things to use. It is very rewarding to know where you food is coming from. At least for me.<br />
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6) Nature is not kind.<br />
Wolves kill calf moose, cattle and calves. Boars kill bear cubs in order to throw a sow back into heat. Ravens will eat an animal while it's still alive. Coyotes will too. Wild animals are not pets, they are beautiful and majestic and primal. It's a cycle of life that few these days seem to realize happens. Cougars wait in trees to surprise their prey, bulls and bucks beat each other up in the rut fighting for females. Wolves will eat you alive, a bear will attack you and a cougar will stalk you. They aren't just pretty things that you see on the side of the road once and a while. Predator and animal management is essential to farming and hunting lifestyles. If it wasn't, stores would have empty shelves and many people would be lost as to where to get food.<br />
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7) We are always learning.<br />
There is always a new situation, a new obstacle, or a new approach to things. We have to learn and adjust and change. There is always room to be better and to grow and to take advice. No one knows everything and it seems only the most experienced will admit it. Every animal, every day and every season seems to provide different challenges and I learn new things every day. We should always be open to more education. Knowledge is power they say. Everyone has different opinions and we should respect them but also maintain and educate our own.<br />
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Those are a few of the things I am slowly learning and that I want to pass on. I firmly believe this lifestyle is an efficient and effective way to teach my children certain things about life and death and self sufficiency. Hunting and trapping are traditional and are way more common then many people believe and allow beef prices to stay lower and prevent ranch and farm losses. Agriculture and farming are necessary to our future to provide food for the many that do not grow their own food. Many may view our lifestyle as one of the past but I know it is still very much present. We do our best to not prolong pain or endorse cruelty and are always upgrading equipment and approaches to provide efficient and quality performance. A lot of work, thought, money and education goes into our actions when dealing with any kind of animal that people do not see or wish to see. The fact is, we find it hard and rewarding to be able to depend on the land for a portion of our living and that will never change as long as we can help it. I will always do my best to pass that knowledge on for the next generation.<br />
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<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-58093911272963406492013-10-09T10:32:00.000-07:002013-10-09T10:32:24.828-07:00We cannot sink lowerLast night, I was having a hard time sleeping so I was browsing Pinterest. My ultimate addiction. It was General Conference this past weekend so lots of my friends who are active members of the church were gleefully posting quotes by General Authorities. As I scrolled through, I got caught up in reading these random quotes and found myself pinning them. I wasn't sure want to think and I wasn't sure how I felt.<br />
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I have been inactive for several years and I have struggled with certain addictions that go against how I was raised and the things that I know are true. There were points when I would try and go back. At those moments, I would hit a wall of temptation and confusion and emotion that was so overwhelming. Frustration would overcome me as I felt I was struggling through the darkness of my life and I could honestly say that I would give up. The goal seemed out of reach. The sins I had committed seemed too large and the abuse my soul had endured and was still enduring seemed out of healing's reach. A lot of it seemed to be whether I would ever feel worthy or clean enough to marry an LDS man in the temple. Whether I could totally be changed and renewed or loved.<br />
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At one of the ultimate lows in my life in regards to my relationship with my Heavenly Father and several other aspects, I met my husband Jarrod. Suddenly there was someone who was willing to love me and take care of me for who I was with no demands. I concluded that this was happiness. I got pregnant and I got married. In lots of ways, Jarrod saved me and I love him more then words can describe. But I still silently struggled with religion, self acceptance and this knowledge that I had with the way I was raised. A couple times, I tried explaining this to Jarrod but it was hard to convey how I was feeling to him. I actually had a conversation with Jarrod's aunt after I had my son and was trying to explain my internal struggle and how it may affect my marriage. And she mentioned that the only thing she could see pushing us apart was me pursuing the LDS religion.<br />
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Jarrod has expressed his complete disinterest in conversations before and my husband is very set in his thoughts and opinions. A good thing at times and a frustrating thing at others. One evening a couple weeks ago, I was having a discussion with my mother and she was wondering where I stood with myself and raising my child. I mentioned my internal struggle and how I don't think Jarrod would ever accept the gospel. Then she mentioned how the Lord works miracles and makes things possible when we think they are out of reach. I pondered that for a couple days and then forgot about it.<br />
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Back to last night. As I was scrolling through these quotes, one struck me. Like it totally applied to my thoughts and situation.<br />
"However late you think you are, however many chances you think you may have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don't have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have travelled, I testify that you have not travelled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ's atonement shines." Jeffrey R. Holland<br />
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And in that moment I realized that I was scared. I was scared to try. I was scared to lose my marriage, my family, my life. All these thoughts rushed through my head about how the Lord can work miracles and how He can change people, their lives and their hearts. And I realized that it needs to start with me. All I could do was try and have faith the Lord would do the rest for me and for my family. Because the gospel is love. It's love for our families, love for our Heavenly Father and love for our Saviour. And because I love my family I want to have that love in my home.<br />
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So this morning I got up. I didn't drink my coffee and I am reading scriptures and having family prayers with my son. Maybe one day my husband will join us, maybe not. But I can no longer be scared to try. All I can do is pray that one day that infinite light will illuminate my life and the hearts of those I love so much.<br />
<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-11777307818456343332013-10-02T09:15:00.001-07:002013-10-02T09:15:50.286-07:00Throwing it awayThe past three weeks I have had the opportunity to join a clinic weight loss group that promotes a rapid weight loss with a lifestyle change. So far I have almost lost 14 pounds through smaller portions sizes, lower carbs and being aware of what I am putting into my body.<div>
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I have always been aware of my weight and self image. Honestly, I have been all over the map with it. I have been heavier, I have been more in shape, I have been pregnant, I have have been lighter. When I started to gain weight, I was extremely uncomfortable with it. I never hated myself, I just knew I was heavier then I felt was healthy. I have a lot of knowledge of fitness and eating well, which at times I have ignored and at other times taken to heart. </div>
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At one time I was living with a family who was very much love yourself no matter what size you are. And I would often say I was overweight and needed to lose weight and they would quickly state how I was just fine and beautiful the way I was. I understood the mentality they were trying to uphold but I was stating a fact. My weight was making me uncomfortable. I was never slighting my self worth by stating such facts, I was just recognizing and trying to solve the problem. And it was a problem for me. I don't like feeling unhealthy or losing my breath on a walk or having to buy bigger pants.</div>
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Recently I have been thinking about that experience and food and weight and health a lot because of how involved I have been in this program. Media is very pressuring to maintain a "hot body" persay but I find the retaliation a bit more disturbing. Pictures comparing anorexic to overweight women and which one you would prefer to be or be with, "curves" are better slogans and such. I AM NOT A THIN WOMEN but I take offense to the fact that people are trying to make unhealthy habits the norm. Whether it be too big or too small, it seems many seek to fight for acceptance for endangering their health. </div>
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It is not healthy to be extremely overweight or underweight, that's a fact. I have a very blunt doctor who will tell me that I am getting too overweight or I am reaching a good level of health and I appreciate the honesty. Someone is finally honest. Because it's not ok to be overweight. It's an epidemic. Yesterday, during our meeting, my doctor had just returned from Vegas and he mentioned the overweight children and how sad it was to see an overweight 10 year old whose knees were already starting to be damaged by excess weight. He wanted to approach the parents and tell them how they were endangering their child's health by what was going in his mouth. And that was a child! Doesn't that just infuriate that the parents would take no responsibility in making sure their child had a healthy, balanced diet in order to enjoy their life to the fullest? Why do we not empower our children to be healthy and happy and active?</div>
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So throughout the last few weeks, I have decided that I would like to take control back of my life. I can't blame my weight on Christmas or the cake or others because I ATE IT. And it's hard to say no, it's hard to resist the temptation of overindulging. But I need to do this to be an example for my children and to be able to not be self conscious about how I look and to not feel like crap. I want and need to be healthy and I am not going to sit back and let people tell me to love my "curves" which are actually rolls of unnecessary body fat caused by copious amounts of sweets and greasy food. I already love myself enough to realize I need to change. </div>
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So here's to throwing it away and the journey has just begun.</div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-38702866260442230972013-09-25T14:01:00.001-07:002013-09-25T14:01:08.749-07:00The good, the bad and the uglyI was talking to a friend on Facebook a while back. She had just added me and since our last encounter we had bothgotten married. I had a chat bubble come up and she asked me how life was and how marriage was going. I replied:<br />
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It's hard.<br />
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It wasn't that I was upset with my marriage or my husband or my life. I was just acknowledging the truth. Marriage is hard for me. She replied in the most interesting way and said thank you. Then she went on to express how much she appreciated my honesty. She was raised in a religious family and had gotten married young and she had struggled with her marriage. It was a lot harder then she had expected. She felt like everyone around her had a perfect marriage because when they were asked a similar question, they all stated how it was amazing and how they loved every minute of it. No one seemed to be struggling except her. Now she knew she wasn't the only one.<br />
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I still have the opinion that marriage is hard. It's hard to keep the spice. It's hard to combine two lifestyles. It's hard to manage money and different childhoods. It's hard to change and it's hard to work with the change in others. Some may not find that hard at the beginning or at all for that matter but many do.<br />
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In a moment of frustration last night, I realized that I needed to step up for my husband. We both discussed certain changes that had taken place, things we missed, things we liked and disliked and how life had gotten ahead of us. We were both stressed out and are still working a lot on effective communication. <br />
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I realized I had been holding back in something that I can't even hold back in. I need to serve my husband and make him feel wanted and special even though at first, I may get nothing in return. I hadn't been working hard enough for that one person who deserves it and I need to change.<br />
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Marriage is full of good days and bad days, amazing days and ugly days. At least for me anyways. We don't always get along and other times we work together seamlessly. But he will always be my best friend and I love him more then I could ever imagine.<br />
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Even though sometimes it's hard too.Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-24066782140763755942013-09-23T14:14:00.001-07:002013-09-23T14:14:47.800-07:00It's all in the balanceSince my anti supermom post, I have been thinking and attempting the topic of balance.<br />
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I have struggled with the position of stay at home mom. I have always been a employee. In fact, I loved being a employee. I like working long hours, associating with different people, having deadlines and being part of a company that expected and required me to complete tasks. I enjoyed learning and discussing issues with my superiors and problem solving. I had motivation and drive to impress those I worked with and those I worked for.<br />
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Then I got pregnant. My employment ended about 6 months into my pregnancy and I was going to have the opportunity to stay at home. My husband loved the idea of me being home and we had agreed that this was that best way for our family to raise our children. Initially, I was extremely excited. I had never really stayed home before and the last few years I had spent in working camps so the idea of being home was different.<br />
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Little did I know what rushes of emotion were going to present themselves. Soon I felt guilt because I wasn't providing a substantial income to our families finances. It felt like I was doing nothing to improve our situation. My husband and I swallowed a lot in life really fast and the financial strains were and are still extremely difficult for us to handle. We both went from being very financially independent individuals with our own financial goals to suddenly combining finances. Waves of feelings came over me. I felt like a talentless, lazy, guilty individual which led to a slight depression. Those are still emotions that pop up time to time but I am learning how to deal with them.<br />
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I then realized how much work being a stay at mom could be. I had never been so unmotivated in my entire life. My depression got worse as I began to spend days on end on the couch with no energy and no drive.<br />
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Being a stay at home mom is harder. Something I had never thought that was possible is that staying at home is harder. There is no one to motivate you, there are no deadlines or expectations except that which you do for yourself.<br />
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You have to decide what's for dinner and make it.<br />
No one tells you when to clean your house or wash your hair or when to get out of bed or when to mow the lawn.<br />
No one expects you to stop watching tv or have the laundry folded or the bed made.<br />
No one makes a schedule for you to work out, practice playing the piano or work on a project you would like to finish.<br />
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And I realized until I made those expectations of myself and motivated myself to do them, I was going to sit in the same hole I was always going to.<br />
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So I tried to be supermom. That obviously didn't go as planned. *See previous post<br />
It lasted a brief moment till I realized it wasn't going to work.<br />
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I needed to find a way to motivate myself without overwhelming myself because both extremes are more damaging then helpful. So the last two weeks I have been trying a few things to increase my production and quality as an individual, as a mother and as a housewife. So far I have been seeing good results which I hope will also improve with time. Here are a few things I decided to try:<br />
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1)Set goals and a schedule.<br />
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Set daily goals. Set weekly goals. Set hourly goals. I wanted to get a realistic list of things I could accomplish within certain time frames. And it totally works. I write them down in my day planner and make little check marks. Oh I love checkmarks.<br />
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2)Don't turn on the TV.<br />
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I find as soon as I turn on the TV, I lose motivation. Whether it's a show or a movie or anything. As soon as I start to bank couch time, the whole day is suddenly gone.<br />
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3) "Forget my cell phone."<br />
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I spend a lot of time on my cell phone. I usually try to make sure I have it within an accessible distance but I don't need to be on it every dull second in the doctors office or in the grocery store and so on. My son actually deserves that time more then my phone. Some days I do better then others but it's a work in progress.<br />
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4) Start first thing.<br />
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For me, lazy mornings make lazy days and there ain't no time for that! If I start right after breakfast, I find it amazing how much I can get accomplished. If I have an appointment in town, I try and make it as early as possible to help me get started..<br />
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5) Glam up a bit.<br />
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I find that if I put on some makeup or do my hair, I feel better about my day. I don't go all out. Heck, if I get a ponytail, that's an achievement.<br />
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6) Go outside.<br />
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Stetson is so high energy and loves being outside and when I make it out there, so do I. I have been trying to spend some time outside everyday whether it's a walk or a play at the park or mowing the lawn.<br />
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Those are the six things I have been trying to incorporate into my day to make me a happier, more productive, better quality mother and wife. I don't have to do everything. Just something. There is no reason to sit on the couch and watch TV or read all day. My husband deserves more, my children deserve more and I deserve more. If I am to expect anything of them, I must expect something of myself and set an example. Every day is a new beginning and a new challenge. And it's all about balance.Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-83102087015607797252013-09-03T13:20:00.001-07:002013-09-03T13:20:07.961-07:00RealitiesOh the realities. 7 months ago, I had a beautiful baby boy. He is amazing in all ways. Smart, cute, energetic and he loves me. Oh does he love me. Despite the fact that sometimes my hair doesn't get brushed or my house doesn't get cleaned or that sometimes dinner is less the desirable.<br />
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But he also demands the most of me. He demands my sleep time, my patience, my smiles, my energy and my love.<br />
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I don't know about other moms but I know about me. 7 months later, I still have no energy, I still cry at commercials, I get overwhelmed and end up sobbing on the floor. My house goes uncleaned, my hair goes unbrushed and sometimes getting up and eating seems the most difficult thing to accomplish.<br />
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But I would never take it back and sometimes it it takes me a second to sit back and realize that. Motherhood is the most difficult and straining thing I have ever undertook. Everything inside you wants to be the most perfect, put together, organized housewife there is that accomplishes everything you have set out to do in a day. But I know I can never be that person.<br />
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I will never be supermom.<br />
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It took me seven months to admit it to myself. I am not sure when I will feel ok again, when I will have my energy back, when I will lose the weight I would like to lose, when I will not cry in lame chick flicks, when the constant throbbing headaches will go away or when my sex drive will come back. But I know I have a little boy and a husband who I love with all my heart.<br />
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I have learned that having high expectations of myself and then failing sends me into a deep depression that not only affects me but my family. The guilt that I create in my life could hurt the people I love the most. It sucks the life out of me.<br />
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So here is to having real expectations. They won't win me any awards but they will get me through the day and keep me smiling for the people I love. And that is my reality. Lots of times I lose my focus and I forget that I can't be this perfect machine and then I get depressed.<br />
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I can't be anyone else, I can only be myself. I am not supermom. I will never be an amazing housewife. But I will do my best everyday to ensure I am happy and my family is happy. And I will get better as I realize that life is what you make it, not how much you appear to accomplish. I have much to learn and there is lots of room to grow. Everything takes time. Those are my realities.<br />
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<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-27713389706795895402013-03-18T12:25:00.001-07:002013-03-18T12:25:15.397-07:00Our little familySo it has been forever since I blogged. It haunts me in the back of my mind that I should blog but I have been pretty busy/sick/forgetful lately. Plus, my cute attachment decides that every time I decide to try and get something done, its time to fuss. Like he is currently. BRB.<br />
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OK baby asleep. Yep! We had a baby!<br />
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William Stetson Stanley Frost. We call him Stetson. He was born January 23 2013 8 lbs 1 oz 17 1/2" long.<br />
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Yes the name is long but it has a lot of meaning for us. William is Jarrod's family name. It's both his and his dad's legal first name and I am not sure how far it goes back. Stetson is the name I picked and Jarrod didn't have much say. I basically told him that was the name and he was going to have to accept it haha. Stanley is after Jarrod's uncle who passed in November who was very loved by all who really knew him. We hope our son will grow up to appreciate and honor the names he carries.<br />
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It's been almost 8 weeks since we brought him home and sometimes I still look at him and think "That's ours??" Haha it's a big change and sometimes so overwhelming but we wouldn't change it for the world. We have been fighting a touch of colic. Dairy bugs him big time but he still has issues with gas so I cut out gluten a couple days ago and it seems to have made a bit of difference. I also have an appointment with the chiropractor for him on Thursday to see if that can help. We will also see what the doctor says on Thursday afternoon.<br />
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Stetson loves water. We took him swimming a couple weeks ago and he just completely chilled out. I found through repeat occurrences getting him ready for a bath that if he is upset, just set him on the floor and turn on the tub and he will instantly quiet. He loves water, playing in it and listening to it. I hope it stays and that Vanderhoof builds a pool so I can indulge that if necessary.<br />
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He also loves his carrier and will usually fall asleep when we go for walks. Stetson also HATES having his face covered unless he is tired. He wants to look around. Especially outside. And don't you dare hinder that or you better prepare for the wrath. He loves sleeping with mum even though I really try to avoid it too much and he loves eating. Obviously. He's almost doubled his birthweight and is 24" long.<br />
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As for Jarrod and I, we have been adjusting to parenthood. Jarrod's cousin bought a hunt to Africa and Jarrod is planning on going with him which is his trip of a lifetime and I am excited for him. Not quite sure when it is but it could happen this year or in five years. Who knows. We are also getting tired of town. We didn't last as long as we thought we would but I am not surprised so right now we are weighing our options with finances and such to figure out what we should do.<br />
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AND WE ARE SOOOOO READY FOR SUMMER! It snowed over a foot in the last couple days and we are ready for it to go away. I am getting excited to get on my horse and go camping and I wore shorts today because I am willing it to be summer. And they are the only comfy clean thing I had. It sounds like Jarrod's breakup may be short this year and extremely busy with projects. Not even our projects! Spring bear season starts in two weeks!<br />
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Wedding celebration planning has been in full swing and I am NOT a wedding planner. And it's expensive! So do not want to get married twice! ;)<br />
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<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-24884915048190266762013-03-17T19:54:00.001-07:002013-03-17T19:54:03.365-07:00Labour Story<br />
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I started having contractions around 630 am on the 22nd. They were light but every three minutes. I thought oh prob false labour or they could stop... So I called my mom and went over to my grammas and made baby blankets. Around noon Jarrod texted me and asked how I was doing so I told him I was having contractions but nothing serious.. The day passed and I went home... </div>
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At about 630 pm they got a bit stronger, so we decided to go to the hospital considering we didn't know what to expect and they hooked me up to monitors and said why yes I was having contractions but my cervix was so high up she couldn't find it so they sent me on my way saying it could be false labour or could stop. About 30 min to an hour after I got home which was about 830, it was unbearable... So Jarrod and I headed back and they hooked me up all over again and checked my cervix, the contractions were 1-2 min apart, gave me the gas, and once they found my cervix apparently I was 4-5 cm dilated. Then we called my mom. The nurse wanted another nurse to double check so I got double checked and I was now 6-7. They already had an epidural on the way and I was having back labour. No fun. By the time they got the epidural in I'm sure I was almost fully dilated because it took forever. So they got that in and it only worked on the right side apparently because of Stetson's position.</div>
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Then they checked me and voila I was fully dilated and my water broke. And they said, if you have the urge to push, push... I felt no such urge. Meanwhile I was having a hard time telling when the contractions were because the back labour was constant stabbing pain and there was no let down. They kept telling me to push but I didn't feel like I had too.. I wasn't doing well and had to get a pep talk from my doctor which was basically telling me I have to get this baby delivered and I better step up my game. I kept throwing up and by this point it was pure bile... They gave me a drug for nausea and another dose of epidural around 130 am and the contractions stopped and I started falling in and out of sleep meanwhile my doctor had to go deliver another baby. There was no progress and my baby still hasn't dropped. So my doctor started me on the drip to try and get contractions going again and avoid a c section. I had a hard time knowing when to push so my doctor put me in the squat position and told me when to push. Stetson's head was stuck behind my pelvic bone so the doctor eventually was able to pull him down and then I felt the urge I push haha. I pushed for 10-20 minutes and he was out. I looked at him and said. I knew it was a boy haha. I then laid back and got stitched up. I fed him then got up and started walking around and went pee. I was almost scared to move my legs after cause I didn't know if it would hurt. I did tear to the side and had to get 5-6 stitches. I was also shaking soooo bad. They covered me with two heated blankets afterwards to try and warm me up</div>
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Jarrod was so tired considering he had been up since 2 am the previous morning poor guy. There was no free beds so Jarrod curled up on this tiny little couch to try and sleep. I only slept about an hour and then was wide awake again. Jarrod and the baby both snored away though haha. The hospital was disgustingly hot our entire stay. We had to share a room since the hospital was so full which wasn't so exciting considering our baby was relatively quiet compared to hers and visitors were crammed in there. And I felt awful when Stetson was having a hard time and would fuss. The hospital had a few issues as well. We never got bands for the baby or Jarrod and I till the lab tech came two days later to do blood work and asked where our bands were. Pretty sure the nurses got an earful after that. We also barely saw the nurses. They were so understaffed but I was so grateful for one night shift nurse that sat with me for two hours teaching me about breastfeeding. I was struggling with it so much that night because he would just not stay with the latch. Whatever people may say, breastfeeding didn't come naturally for me. They also ended up giving me an MMR vaccination that started to cause issues with my nerves in my arm basically rendering it useless.</div>
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On the third day, we basically begged the doctor to go home and if the jaundice testing levels came back below 250 we were allowed. We were extremely happy to get out of there and it didn't take long for us to pack up and header out the door. We stopped by the pharmacy to pick up a few things we thought we might need, scheduled Stetson's circumcision and went home. Nothing like being at home with your own shower, a sink in the bathroom, your own thermostat, your own bed and our cutest little baby!</div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-24504066478252398472013-01-08T15:20:00.001-08:002013-01-08T15:20:48.922-08:00January is a new year. . . .<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">How far along? 38 and a half weeks.<br />Maternity Clothes? No. I live in my Underarmour pants and long t shirts.<br />Best moment this week? Ah getting to a single digit countdown very soon. And we called in another lynx.<br />Not so good moment this week? Still dealing with this flu/cold and not nesting. . .I need energy to finish everything I need to get done! And my car going into limp mode for some bogus reason.<br />Movement: Yes. A very active baby.<br />Gender: Still don't know!<br />Food Cravings: I like toast right now. I've been craving to eat healthy haha.</span><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Anything make you sick or queasy: It's totally hit and miss most days. I threw up tacos the other day.<br />Symptoms: Legs HURT usually 24/7 now. Mostly when I try and relax. And I am still puking. So thankful for Diclectin still haha.<br />Emotions: Mostly ok. I had a breakdown the other day and I am sure Jarrod felt pretty bad.<br />Looking forward to: Getting my house cleaned and hopefully things caught up if I get enough energy.</span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">December was crazy and went crazy fast. We ended up down in the states for a couple days and got to see Julie and Patrice. Christmas crept up and left in a whirlwind. I am still slowly taking decorations down haha. Jarrod's Christmas present is supposed to come tomorrow. . A bit late but better late then never?? We ended December with a super flu/cold that is still clinging. Hasn't been much fun at all. Therefore, not much has been done in my house or anything like that. Baby's room is still in mid reno like it was in mid December. Baby cannot come this week cause I have a to do list the length of my arm still to complete hopefully before it comes. If it decides to come late, the induction date is set for January 28th because my doctor is leaving town on the 31 for vacation which I found out about yesterday and he doesn't want me to go in labour while he is gone. But we will see what happens. . . . Hopefully it comes on it's own. People have been so generous in giving us some of the things we need for this baby and we are very grateful for their support. It's amazing how small things make a huge difference and take a lot of the stress off. Whether it's undershirts or a playpen, it all helps so much. </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Well our life is about to change a whole bunch and in ways we cannot imagine. Jarrod and I say to each other at random times that we are gonna have a kid soon. Isn't that weird? It's exciting and scary at the same time. And we have no idea what we are getting into I am sure but it's happening!</span></span>Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-62747621393733380142012-11-23T13:32:00.001-08:002012-11-23T13:32:52.154-08:00How it actually is. . . .I am not ungrateful and do not regret my baby by any means. Even though this pregnancy was not planned, I don't know what my life would be like without it right now. I find myself thinking about whether she will like grilled cheese sandwiches or whether his favorite toy will be trains. This is going to be a little person. Is that not crazy cool, crazy amazing and crazy scary?<div>
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I also have no idea what kind of mother I am going to be. One part of me says, it will just be instinct, it will come and you will be a natural. Another part says, you should be scared for your life cause you have no idea what's coming. Lots of mother's have offered experiences and advice about motherhood and how they coped or handled certain things. Every mother has different cares, concerns and worries about their children and themselves and it's amazing how it is so varied for every person and every child. Some are completely enveloped by motherhood from the moment they get a positive result on a pregnancy test, while others it takes time through the pregnancy or it doesn't hit till they hold that baby the first time. Some have their lives completely centered around their children and love it while others try and find balance between their children and other things in life. </div>
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Pregnancy hasn't been enjoyable for me. Maybe because marriage and pregnancy came kind of together and it was a big change so fast. Maybe because it's my first one and I don't have much patience. And to tell the truth, I forget I am pregnant a lot and find I end up getting frustrated with myself. Why do I hurt right now?? Ah right. Pregnant. Why am I nauseous again?? Oh yea. Pregnant. Why does this seem so much harder to do now?? . . . . Duh. Pregnant. Why am I soooo big?? Oh right. Pregnant. It's not like I am out drinking shots and eating pounds of raw fish but I find that I am constantly reminding myself. . .Oh right. It's frustrating to be limited and I hate limiting my husband who wants to do things together that I just can't seem to do without paying later.</div>
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I don't like being an emotional wreck constantly and I miss things and feel guilty. Some people can't have babies and would give the world to be pregnant. But I would be a hypocrite if I said I didn't miss things. </div>
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I miss being able to change my body. And I want to change it so bad. I don't like seeing pictures of myself. I feel self conscious. I don't enjoy my size and I can't wait to start changing it. Everybody says just enjoy pregnancy and on and on. But I don't feel pregnant. I just feel fat. And maybe it's selfish but I really hope I maintain the motivation to get fit and at a healthy weight. I gained lots of weight before I got pregnant and I so regret it now.</div>
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Honestly? I really want to continue in some of my hobbies after the baby is born. I have had so many mixed opinions from mothers about this topic. I have met mothers that just involve their children in what they are doing and I have met others who insist you will have no time and others who think you are selfish for even pursuing something for yourself. Such as hunting. Although it will take some sacrifice for us to involve our children, I can't see it ending. Jarrod's parents involved him and I am sure he and I will do the same thing. I have an amazingly supportive husband and often when I doubt I will be able to do something after the baby comes because of lack of time, he reminds me that I can still do it, I can just take the baby with me. And I am sure it's easier said then done but I know when it comes down to it, if it's that important to me then I will do it. But I am still scared I will lose myself and turn around later in life with regrets. I am also aware that my priorities will drastically change after this baby comes. Oh the fear of the unknown. </div>
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At the same time, I am so excited to meet this little person. Haha it's daddy loves to poke and prode it and I am sure it is just the beginning of it getting teased. Every time it decides to move, it's a reminder of oh yea, there's a baby in there which is a complete rush of mixed emotions. And I know it will help me realize that this is all worth it. I can't wait to figure out it's likes and dislikes and to snuggle and to see it smile and take it's first steps. To teach it what's right and what's wrong and that baby will always be loved. And deep inside I know it will be the hardest but most rewarding thing I have ever done in my entire life. Harder then pregnancy to say the least lol. And although the thought of being responsible for a child is so so scary, I pray that I will be able to teach and to love this gift from heaven with everything in me. I can't wait to see daddy just melt when he holds his baby for the first time cause I know it will happen.</div>
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Isn't that what people say parenthood is like? When it seems like all is lost, you get rewarded in the sweetest, most simple ways. If not, I guess I will learn in time. . . </div>
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Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-68315526222710783892012-11-14T13:25:00.002-08:002012-11-14T13:25:50.752-08:00NOVEMBER SOOOOO FAR. . . <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">How far along? Almost 31 weeks.<br />Maternity Clothes? Some yes and some no.<br />Best moment this week? MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT. And my buck I got.<br />Not so good moment this week? Ah being sick and not sleeping.<br />Movement: Yes. Loves to kick Jarrod in the back now too. . .<br />Gender: Still not finding out. . . But we are super hoping for a boy.<br />Food Cravings: Egg nog. Apple fritters.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Anything make you sick or queasy: Raw meat. And boiling deer head with Dawn soap.<br />Symptoms: Legs HURT and headaches like mad. The heartburn is still there too. And I am still puking. So thankful for Diclectin.<br />Emotions: One word. ROLLERCOASTER.<br />Looking forward to: Getting Christmas presents to wrap!!!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">So I am tagged out for deer season. I shot a whitetail doe which has been great eating, a small two point mule deer buck and a 4 point mule deer buck. We have been giving most of the meat away as our freezer is pretty full and I have been getting used to butchering deer in my kitchen. Jarrod boiled out my deer skull and it is now hanging on the wall behind the TV and looking mighty fine I must say. My mule deer buck was probably the hardest thing I have had to shoot so far. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Here is the story. Jarrod saw him from afar and we drove up closer across the field, Jarrod got him in the binos and said, "You are gonna shoot that deer babe." Great. OK. My gun wasn't sighted in yet so up went the 300 and I was using the truck open window and open door as a rest. I had the cross hairs on him but he was bedded down not far away and the only clear shots I could get were either his head or his butt. So Jarrod starts calling at it to make it get up and hopefully broadside. Buttt it gets up and starts running away. So we hop back in the truck and drive up farther till we are no longer behind it but more beside it. And it's also getting further away. Awesome. So I jump out and Jarrod says use the hood as the rest. Well I am over 7 months pregnant and the truck has a Buckstop and a lift. And the deer is still getting further away. We adjusted the scope for a further shot and I tried to line up and shot. Missed. Clean miss. And the gun wasn't anchored right cause I couldn't get high enough so I FELT that recoil hard. So I got a little bit frustrated and lined up again. He was quartered with his head a bit further ahead and was around 350-400 yards away. I lined up and shot. Well that time he got hit and ran into some bush. So we jumped back in the truck and took off towards the bush line. We got there and Jarrod found him right away but wanted to make sure he was done so shot twice. As we approached him, it looked like I gut shot him. I was basically horrified at my shot but he needed loaded so we loaded him up as it was getting dark. When we were coming back through, the gates were shut. That was a bit confusing as they had been open for a couple weeks but we opened them and closed them after us. As we went through the second one, we looked ahead and the landowner had the road completely blocked. So we pulled up and jumped out. And he looks at us and says, "Oh it's you guys. I'll move out of your way!" He got on his phone right away too. Pretty sure we got the CO called on us by mistake haha. We took him home and Jarrod skinned him. Turned out he wasn't gut shot. Whew. I hit him right at the back of the diaphragm and it came out the shoulder. Good shot.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Jarrod's uncle passed away this just over a week ago. Too young and too soon but we don't make those calls I guess. It was so unexpected and we wish it hadn't of happened. It's put a damper on things and made us all rethink how we value our time together lately. We have been spending alot of time with family and trying to support each other. We were actually supposed to have them over for dinner on Saturday night and thats all I could think about when I first heard. We were able to pool together though and send his wife and two sons to Mexico this weekend since him and his wife were going for their anniversary which happens to be today. It's amazing and tragic how fast life can suddenly change. I am grateful for the things I know for sure. We all miss him. Jarrod especially as they were pretty close. We have asked the family if we can name our son after him if the baby is a boy and they are honoured with the idea so we are kind of more hoping for a boy now.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">We laid our new living room flooring and it has transformed our house to some extent. It looks so much better! And cleaner even when it's dirty! You would have never guessed it would make that much of a difference. But it did! I also started to make Christmas decorations yesterday! I made a tree topper and 3 different kinds of ornaments. Only two different kinds left to make! :) KJ gave me some pinecones and I have some bells so I am gonna make up something with those! I also made a mini tree and a wreath with some "greenery" I bought. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Soon I will be in full force baby stuff making mode. I want to so bad but I am making myself finish some other things first! Other then the cold plague hitting the household, not much else is happening! Jarrod has to go out and shoot some deer I guess! ;)</span></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span>Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-16960027233703200632012-10-18T09:17:00.000-07:002012-10-18T09:17:05.954-07:00Life Lately. . . One phrase: Hunting Season.<br />
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Hahahaha we have been busy, busy, busy with either looking for something to shoot or dealing with something we shot!<br />
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Moose camp was so much fun and next year I will NOT be pregnant! It was full of 9 moose and good food and trying to find chickens! Next year we will have a baby which will make it super interesting but everything is an adventure right?<br />
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My house is still a disaster but I told Jarrod my goal was to get all my dishes done today. So I can't get out of it. There still isn't too many places to put things but we are adapting. <br />
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Pregnant update:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">How far along? Almost 27 weeks.<br />Maternity Clothes? Some yes and some no.<br />Best moment this week? Playing cards with friends.<br />Not so good moment this week? Ah being sick and not sleeping.<br />Movement: Yes. Loves to kick me in the bladder. Haha<br />Gender: Still not finding out. . .<br />Food Cravings: Milkshakes. Even though Doctor Makin told me to lay off junk food in the last trimester so I don't have a huge baby haha.<br />Anything make you sick or queasy: Not eating every two hours. And raw meat.<br />Symptoms: Legs HURT and headaches like mad. The heartburn is still there too.<br />Emotions: One word. ROLLERCOASTER.<br />Looking forward to: Getting my house cleaned for the first time in weeks?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">We got our debt consolidated. BEST THING EVER even though Jarrod is second guessing. BUT I AM IGNORING HIM!!! CAUSE IT HAS RELIEVED SO MUCH STRESS ON MY PART!!! Yes we do have to pay around 800 dollars insurance a year but we also went from a 20 some % interest rate to a 3% interest rate. We go down from 1200 dollars of payments getting nowhere a month to 600 dollars of payments a month with our debt being gone in 5 years. Saving us about 700 of interest a month!!! AHHHHHH!!!! And I dont have to track 6 different payments. Only one. Sweet! </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">I have a doctor appointment this Friday. Every appointment that I have had they have moved up my date so due date is now Jan 20th. So I probably wont be moving up anymore. Dang it haha. I'm officially 4-5 pounds over my pre pregnancy weight. So I decided I need to start walking more. Therefore I walked to get coffee with a friend today. Haha start slow lol.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">And I got my hunter number! So now I can get a hunting license and fill my own tags! </span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><br /></span></span>Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-54533632708966072772012-10-01T14:16:00.000-07:002012-10-01T14:16:14.714-07:00Hunting Season and MoreIt's Monday. And my house is a disaster. But I did start on my dishes. And sort of cleaned up a couple rooms in the house. Had to go to Prince George at 4 thirty this morning to drop off my work truck. Now I am owning the Jeep. I am trying to figure out how I can "clean up" our house and make it a bit more simple and such. It's just very very FULL. I don't know. We will be in transition for a couple years till we get the reno's we want done but I don't know. There are some things I want to do to make the house a little more functional especially with kids. I am just trying to figure out how. I think once we get more cabinets it will help as well cause there will be more storage space. But it's all work in progress. Sometimes I just wish it would go WABAM and all be done.<br />
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Saturday night Jarrod and I went hunting. It was fun. Next time I will dress warmer though! I was fine till I stood up and caught the wind. Then I froze! We didn't get anything but saw a cow moose and calf and 2 bears.<br />
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Work is wrapping up. I am procrastinating a bit with the paperwork but I should get it done. Grrr.<br />
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<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-72553936037268849412012-09-24T15:07:00.001-07:002012-09-24T15:07:58.277-07:00BUSY How far along? 23 and a half weeks<br />
Maternity Clothes? I CAN STILL WEAR SOME OFF MY OWN!!! BOOYAH<br />
Best moment this week? We went quadding which was nice!<br />
Not so good moment this week? Haha I swear everything that could have went wrong . . . DID<br />
Movement: YES!!!<br />
Gender: Still not finding out. . . But everyone swears we are having a boy. We will see haha<br />
Food Cravings: Mashed potatoes!!! YUM<br />
Anything make you sick or queasy: Not eating all the time haha<br />
Symptoms: Legs HURT and headaches like mad. The heartburn is still there too.<br />
Emotions: Tired usually and just impatient<br />
Looking forward to: Getting my carpet gone and PAINT!<br />
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Soo I KNOW I haven't blogged in FOREVER. So much has happened and is happening and I have a headache so I don't feel like doing much of anything that I should be doing right now.<br />
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And we moved! We did move. It honestly did not take that long and we worked our tails off to get it finished. We unpacked almost every box within the first 2 days of being in. My feet seriously ached every night to the point where I dreaded walking the next day. Then we started to realize how small it still is. It's alot bigger then what we used to have but we seem to have TONS of stuff too! Soo we took out a wall. Haha yep. This past weekend, Jeff was over so we took out a wall. The wall the separates the kitchen and living room. What we didn't realize was the living room power went through the ceiling and we cut the cord accidentally. The breaker was flipped so no one got shocked but for 2 days we could not figure out why the sockets were not working!!! We went through everything we rewired, checked everything, rewired again. Thank goodness the house didn't burn down. Finally this morning Doreen came over and we dug back into the other side and found the cut wire! Praises be!!! Now everything is back in operation.<br />
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My husband has been a little stressed lately. With the electrical being all haywire, everytime he tried to fix it NOTHING worked. He spent hours going over his work and it seemed that more and more things went wrong. His shift at work got changed, suddenly he wasn't getting sleep, locked the keys in the truck with everything we needed for quadding in it, didn't have time to eat cause we were late, didn't have time to fix the quad, couldn't find tools, woke up to late to hunt. You name it, it seemed to go wrong. But slowly we are putting everything back together.<br />
<br />
My cousin had her baby!! Congrats to Megan and Nathan for their baby boy. We also bought some flooring and paint for the living/dining room on a sale which was awesome! Flooring was darker then we thought we would go but hopefully it will do ok.And Jarrod built me a greenhouse! :) AND I ended up taking the CORE course totally last minute. So thats been 3 nights a week for the last week and this week which sucks up so much time! But oh well. Hopefully I pass the test on the 2nd and then it will be over. And Jarrod is happy I can put in for my LEH's next spring haha.<br />
<br />
Work is wrapping up. It has totally gone on the back burner with everything thats been happening lately. Hoping tomorrow I will get it all wrapped up. Then just a few more things and it will be done!<br />
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<br />Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-6627859421191317502012-09-10T15:10:00.003-07:002012-09-10T15:10:57.173-07:00HALF BAKED!<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>How far along?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> 20 weeks</span></span></span><br style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 19.09090805053711px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Maternity clothes?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> Yes. Still wearing some of my own though. And a few of Jarrod's.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Best moment this week: </strong>House getting semi in order</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Not so good moment of the week: </strong>Still sick.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Movement: </strong>Not that I know of. Jarrod has said he has felt some though.</span></span><br style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><b>Gender: </b>Not finding out.</span><br style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Food Cravings: </strong>Grilled cheese.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Anything making you queasy or sick: </strong>Roasted garlic.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Symptoms: </strong>RLS and headaches and puking.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Emotions: </strong>Mostly just intolerant and TIRED.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Looking forward to:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> Quilting!</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></span>Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-31702516328445248592012-08-31T13:08:00.004-07:002012-08-31T13:08:49.029-07:00Updating . . . . updating. . . . <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>How far along?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> Almost 19 weeks</span></span></span><br style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15.454545021057129px; line-height: 19.09090805053711px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Maternity clothes?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> Yes . . I am huge. It's confirmed.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Best moment this week: </strong>Hearing there isn't much work left!!!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Not so good moment of the week: </strong>Still sick. . and packing packing packing. . . . . </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Movement: </strong>Not that I know of.</span></span><br style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><b>Gender: </b>Not finding out.</span><br style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Food Cravings: </strong>GRILLED CHEESE!!! And KFC Big Crunch Sandwiches. . .YUM</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Anything making you queasy or sick: </strong>Onions, garlic and salad dressing.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Symptoms: </strong>RLS and headaches mostly.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Emotions: </strong>Mostly just intolerant.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Looking forward to:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> MOVING this weekend!!!!!!!</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">Ah not much is entirely NEW lately but we are packing, packing, packing! Becki came and helped me clean a bit which was awesome!!! And I found out that I may only have a few more days of work left which is kind of awesome even though we will be down to one income! AND JARROD GOT A NEW JOB!!!! He works for Pitka Logging now but a position came up for processor with Sob Lake Logging the other day so we decided to call and see what was up. But this job includes more hours, better pay, better benefits and NO CAMP!!! But Jarrod is back to processor operating much to his dismay. Hopefully it will all work out though! I think he is kind of excited to come home every night. Hmm well hopefully we get the keys tonight for our house and I can blog all about that next! :)</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: xx-small; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-59759503731885507472012-08-22T08:46:00.001-07:002012-08-22T08:57:04.327-07:00Edmonton, Work, Weddings and Puking. What fun!<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>How far along?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> 17 weeks</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Maternity clothes?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> Yes . . I am huge. It's confirmed.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Best moment this week: </strong>Ah probably finally getting our mortgage signed!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Not so good moment of the week:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> Driving round trip to Alberta with no A/C. Windows open equals great head and earache.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Miss Anything? </strong>Feeling good?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Movement: </strong>Not that I know of.</span></span><br style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><b>Gender: </b>Not finding out.</span><br style="font-family: Georgia, serif; line-height: 20px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Food Cravings: </strong>Big Macs and grilled cheese.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Anything making you queasy or sick: </strong>Jarrod's eggs with garlic and onions. Gag me now.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Symptoms:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> I hate RLS. It seriously is so hellish. Some days I have it ALL DAY LONG and then I can't sleep cause I have it all night. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Emotions: </strong>Stressed a lot faster, forgetful and IRRITATED. My patience is thin! </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><strong>Looking forward to:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> MOVING MOVING MOVING. I seriously see more and more spiders in my house everyday. Yuck. I am scared to put anything on the floor and usually make Jarrod check it first.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">It's so funny. Pregnancy puts you on this complete roller coaster and getting married and buying a house just adds to the fun. Well it's not THAT funny. Actually it's more frustrating, conflicting and irritating. Sometimes to the point of being depressing. Explanation??</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">I am working right now. I love my job. I do. It's usually pretty low stress, I have a great boss and I like the pace and options I have with it and I get an amazing pay cheque every two weeks considering what I do. BUT I CAN"T WAIT TO NOT BE WORKING!!! Why you may ask? A whole whack of people when inquiring about my life and hear that I am taking lay off soon look at me with that look in their eyes like "Why are you not going to work? Women can work pregnant. I worked pregnant. It's stupid to quit this soon. You are going to regret it." And I understand their opinion and respect it but it's complicated for some of the following reasons:</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"><b>1) When I am on full shift, Jarrod and I only see each other 4 days a month. </b>People always go, well then you have no time to fight. WRONG. It means when you do see each other ALLLLL you do is fight because you both have different ideas of what you want to do, both of you can't agree on what to prioritize and you have been on different pages for the last two weeks because all you do is text each other a couple times a day. Every weekend I am home, we fight and fight and fight. And then he blames it on me being pregnant. Which is really annoying.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: century gothic, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><b>2) The house is Jarrod's, not mine.</b> THIS IS SOOOO MUCH MORE FRUSTRATING THEN IT SOUNDS. Jarrod is home more then me and to tell you the truth I hate the house we live in but I am moving soon and I really hope there are some changes. But right now it is so frustrating because Jarrod is very stubborn and set in his ways with how the house is. Even with us moving into a different house at the end of the month, Jarrod constantly overrules me saying I can do this and can't do that and my idea is the dumbest thing he's ever heard and he proceeds to tell EVERYONE how dumb my idea is. This has to go on the walls and this can't and on and on and on. And I love him, I really do but if there is someone in competition to how stubborn I am, Jarrod would win hands down. I told him what I wanted to do with my closet and he proceeded to tell me I couldn't do that in MY closet because he hated that organization technique. I looked at him and said THATS MY CLOSET AND I WILL DO IT HOWEVER I WANT. You have your own. But anyways, once I am the one who is home everyday he can no longer one up me and say, well you are never home anyways. Roles will be reversed finally. Hallelujah. Then I can change it and he can come home and just survive with the fact that I already changed it. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: century gothic, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><b>3) Jarrod really hates the fact that I work and wants me home.</b> Most people tell me to just tell him to suck it up and deal with it. But that is almost impossible when you just want to avoid contention to get through your weekend. It's probably where the most tension is in our relationship and is so stressful and frustrating that I am willing to give in because some things just are not worth it. Pick your battles right?</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: century gothic, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><b>4) Being pregnant and not being able to choose what you eat is a nightmare. </b>Pretty self explanatory. Camp food is not appealing for those even in the best of health and with good appetites. Camp food for a pregnant woman who is still puking twice a day on a full Diclectin dose? Yea, you get it. And it's so much more a bigger deal when you actually experience it. Imagining isn't enough. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: century gothic, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><b>5) Always being the helped and never the helper</b>. This is so frustrating right now! We have gotten so much help these last few months from friends and family. Almost every day I get a message from someone to come help with this please? Or they just assume I am in camp and I miss out. I feel so guilty always getting the help then having to leave to camp and never being able to help back. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: century gothic, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">That's part of my freaking roller coaster. Seems like most of it has been downs rather then ups and I am tired of downs. I am tired of feeling gross and men don't really understand everything you feel it seems. Lots of times I feel defeated just all the time. It's like I am fighting to be positive about life right now and constantly fighting just makes me more irritated. Vicious cycle. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: century gothic, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Anyways, fighting to be more positive! We went to Edmonton this weekend. My mom has been up visiting the last few weeks and it has been so nice to spend time with her I must say. We headed over to Alberta for Patrice's and Julie's wedding open house which was very nice I must say. The ride over not so much but we got to the hotel late Friday night and slept in. Saturday we went to Lammle's and Cabela's and spent way too much money. And I must say most of the money was on Jarrod haha. He even felt so guilty he started coaxing me to buy a ridiculously priced sweater that we CANNOT afford and I did think about it for a minute. But I resisted in the end because I would feel like an awful person for even considering a purchase like that right now. </span></span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;">And I am very proud I didn't take advantage of his guilt so I would feel guilty later. He even said I could get something for the baby WHICH HE NEVER SAYS. But I resisted. </span><span style="color: #222222; font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; line-height: 20px;"> We did end up getting lots of Jarrod's get up for our wedding celebration next year and some hunting stuff that he could get cheaper there rather then at home. At least that's what he said to justify the purchases :) but I was ok with it. Better this year then next year when we are down to one income. Gulp.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: century gothic, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Saturday afternoon we went to my parent's house to help set up for the open houses and it was so HOT! and the bugs were awful. In fact, we counted the bites on my legs later and there was over 20. Yuck! The bugs haven't been super bad here this year so I guess we have been spoiled. Anyways, we got ready and ate a quick bite of pizza (Thanks Lawrence). The open house was fun and the decorations were gorgeous. Everything seemed to go smooth thanks to my parents prep and the people who helped. We got a few wedding gifts too which was unexpected and nice. It was nice to meet my two new brother in laws haha the family sure has grown this year for sure! I somehow injured my knee on Thursday night and it ached all weekend which took it's toll. We tried to go swimming at the hotel after but it just ended up in me sitting in the water shivering cause I couldn't kick my legs without my knee rebelling. But that night I slept like a rock! </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: century gothic, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 20px;">Sunday morning was full of driving back home after I graced the parking lot with my morning nausea routine. The ride home actually went pretty fast even with the windows open. It wasn't as hot as the way there till about noon so we were a bit more comfortable. We stopped in PG and looked at dishwashers and other appliances and grabbed something to eat at Taco Del Mar. Taco Del Mar and pregnancy aren't the most awesome combination by the way. Just a warning to all those who suffer from All Day Sickness. By the time we got home, we were semi exhausted but managed to find some energy to semi clean the house and get a few things packed which was nice. We need to pack haha. Lots of it is but most of it isn't. I am soooo excited to move. Words cannot even express. :)</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: century gothic, arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-14663040191179009452012-08-13T11:37:00.001-07:002012-08-13T11:37:11.993-07:0016 weeks and counting . . <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>How far along?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> 16 weeks</span></span></span><br style="background-color: #fff9ee; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Maternity clothes?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> Yes, VV is awesome! </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Best moment this week: </strong>Marriage and crab from the ocean!</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Not so good moment of the week:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> Still puking. . . and finding more spiders. And it seems that Jarrod and I fought for 3 days straight before we got hitched. Stressful.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Miss Anything?</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"> Being alot skinnier then I am now. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif;"><strong>Movement: </strong>Not that I know of.</span></span><br style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><b>Gender: </b>Not finding out.</span><br style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><strong>Food Cravings: </strong>Crab and Asian Salad</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><strong>Anything making you queasy or sick: </strong>Getting married apparently.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><strong>Symptoms:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"> RLS is still the biggest thing and just being tired with the nausea.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><strong>Emotions: </strong>Stressed a lot faster. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><strong>Looking forward to:</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"> My sisters' wedding open house this weekend and MOVING!!!</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'century gothic', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><br /></span></span>Annahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14794240522168247434noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2890084546100326613.post-84889356870187143602012-08-13T11:32:00.003-07:002012-08-13T11:32:23.506-07:00continued<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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