How it actually is. . . .

I am not ungrateful and do not regret my baby by any means. Even though this pregnancy was not planned, I don't know what my life would be like without it right now. I find myself thinking about whether she will like grilled cheese sandwiches or whether his favorite toy will be trains. This is going to be a little person. Is that not crazy cool, crazy amazing and crazy scary?

I also have no idea what kind of mother I am going to be. One part of me says, it will just be instinct, it will come and you will be a natural. Another part says, you should be scared for your life cause you have no idea what's coming. Lots of mother's have offered experiences and advice about motherhood and how they coped or handled certain things. Every mother has different cares, concerns and worries about their children and themselves and it's amazing how it is so varied for every person and every child. Some are completely enveloped by motherhood from the moment they get a positive result on a pregnancy test, while others it takes time through the pregnancy or it doesn't hit till they hold that baby the first time. Some have their lives completely centered around their children and love it while others try and find balance between their children and other things in life. 

BUT

Pregnancy hasn't been enjoyable for me. Maybe because marriage and pregnancy came kind of together and it was a big change so fast. Maybe because it's my first one and I don't have much patience. And to tell the truth, I forget I am pregnant a lot and find I end up getting frustrated with myself. Why do I hurt right now?? Ah right. Pregnant. Why am I nauseous again?? Oh yea. Pregnant. Why does this seem so much harder to do now?? . . . . Duh. Pregnant. Why am I soooo big?? Oh right. Pregnant. It's not like I am out drinking shots and eating pounds of raw fish but I find that I am constantly reminding myself. . .Oh right. It's frustrating to be limited and I hate limiting my husband who wants to do things together that I just can't seem to do without paying later.

I don't like being an emotional wreck constantly and I miss things and feel guilty. Some people can't have babies and would give the world to be pregnant. But I would be a hypocrite if I said I didn't miss things.  

I miss being able to change my body. And I want to change it so bad. I don't like seeing pictures of myself. I feel self conscious. I don't enjoy my size and I can't wait to start changing it. Everybody says just enjoy pregnancy and on and on. But I don't feel pregnant. I just feel fat. And maybe it's selfish but I really hope I maintain the motivation to get fit and at a healthy weight. I gained lots of weight before I got pregnant and I so regret it now.

Honestly? I really want to continue in some of my hobbies after the baby is born. I have had so many mixed opinions from mothers about this topic. I have met mothers that just involve their children in what they are doing and I have met others who insist you will have no time and others who think you are selfish for even pursuing something for yourself. Such as hunting. Although it will take some sacrifice for us to involve our children, I can't see it ending. Jarrod's parents involved him and I am sure he and I will do the same thing. I have an amazingly supportive husband and often when I doubt I will be able to do something after the baby comes because of lack of time, he reminds me that I can still do it, I can just take the baby with me. And I am sure it's easier said then done but I know when it comes down to it, if it's that important to me then I will do it. But I am still scared I will lose myself and turn around later in life with regrets. I am also aware that my priorities will drastically change after this baby comes. Oh the fear of the unknown. 

BUT 

At the same time, I am so excited to meet this little person. Haha it's daddy loves to poke and prode it and I am sure it is just the beginning of it getting teased. Every time it decides to move, it's a reminder of oh yea, there's a baby in there which is a complete rush of mixed emotions. And I know it will help me realize that this is all worth it. I can't wait to figure out it's likes and dislikes and to snuggle and to see it smile and take it's first steps. To teach it what's right and what's wrong and that baby will always be loved. And deep inside I know it will be the hardest but most rewarding thing I have ever done in my entire life. Harder then pregnancy to say the least lol. And although the thought of being responsible for a child is so so scary, I pray that I will be able to teach and to love this gift from heaven with everything in me. I can't wait to see daddy just melt when he holds his baby for the first time cause I know it will happen.

Isn't that what people say parenthood is like? When it seems like all is lost, you get rewarded in the sweetest, most simple ways. If not, I guess I will learn in time. . . 

 

NOVEMBER SOOOOO FAR. . .

How far along? Almost 31 weeks.
Maternity Clothes? Some yes and some no.
Best moment this week? MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT. And my buck I got.
Not so good moment this week? Ah being sick and not sleeping.
Movement: Yes. Loves to kick Jarrod in the back now too. . .
Gender: Still not finding out. . . But we are super hoping for a boy.
Food Cravings: Egg nog. Apple fritters.
Anything make you sick or queasy: Raw meat. And boiling deer head with Dawn soap.
Symptoms: Legs HURT and headaches like mad. The heartburn is still there too. And I am still puking. So thankful for Diclectin.
Emotions: One word. ROLLERCOASTER.
Looking forward to: Getting Christmas presents to wrap!!!

So I am tagged out for deer season. I shot a whitetail doe which has been great eating, a small two point mule deer buck and a 4 point mule deer buck. We have been giving most of the meat away as our freezer is pretty full and I have been getting used to butchering deer in my kitchen.  Jarrod boiled out my deer skull and it is now hanging on the wall behind the TV and looking mighty fine I must say.  My mule deer buck was probably the hardest thing I have had to shoot so far. 

Here is the story. Jarrod saw him from afar and we drove up closer across the field, Jarrod got him in the binos and said, "You are gonna shoot that deer babe." Great. OK. My gun wasn't sighted in yet so up went the 300  and I was using the truck open window and open door as a rest. I had the cross hairs on him but he was bedded down not far away and the only clear shots I could get were either his head or his butt. So Jarrod starts calling at it to make it get up and hopefully broadside. Buttt it gets up and starts running away. So we hop back in the truck and drive up farther till we are no longer behind it but more beside it. And it's also getting further away. Awesome. So I jump out and Jarrod says use the hood as the rest. Well I am over 7 months pregnant and the truck has a Buckstop and a lift. And the deer is still getting further away. We adjusted the scope for a further shot and I tried to line up and shot. Missed. Clean miss. And the gun wasn't anchored right cause I couldn't get high enough so I FELT that recoil hard. So I got a little bit frustrated and lined up again. He was quartered with his head a bit further ahead and was around 350-400 yards away. I lined up and shot. Well that time he got hit and ran into some bush. So we jumped back in the truck and took off towards the bush line. We got there and Jarrod found him right away but wanted to make sure he was done so shot twice. As we approached him, it looked like I gut shot him. I was basically horrified at my shot but he needed loaded so we loaded him up as it was getting dark. When we were coming back through, the gates were shut. That was a bit confusing as they had been open for a couple weeks but we opened them and closed them after us. As we went through the second one, we looked ahead and the landowner had the road completely blocked. So we pulled up and jumped out. And he looks at us and says, "Oh it's you guys. I'll move out of your way!" He got on his phone right away too. Pretty sure we got the CO called on us by mistake haha. We took him home and Jarrod skinned him. Turned out he wasn't gut shot. Whew. I hit him right at the back of the diaphragm and it came out the shoulder. Good shot.

Jarrod's uncle passed away this just over a week ago. Too young and too soon but we don't make those calls I guess. It was so unexpected and we wish it hadn't of happened. It's put a damper on things and made us all rethink how we value our time together lately. We have been spending alot of time with family and trying to support each other. We were actually supposed to have them over for dinner on Saturday night and thats all I could think about when I first heard. We were able to pool together though and send his wife and two sons to Mexico this weekend since him and his wife were going for their anniversary which happens to be today. It's amazing and tragic how fast life can suddenly change. I am grateful for the things I know for sure. We all miss him. Jarrod especially as they were pretty close. We have asked the family if we can name our son after him if the baby is a boy and they are honoured with the idea so we are kind of more hoping for a boy now.

We laid our new living room flooring and it has transformed our house to some extent. It looks so much better! And cleaner even when it's dirty! You would have never guessed it would make that much of a difference. But it did! I also started to make Christmas decorations yesterday! I made a tree topper and 3 different kinds of ornaments. Only two different kinds left to make! :) KJ gave me some pinecones and I have some bells so I am gonna make up something with those! I also made a mini tree and a wreath with some "greenery" I bought. 

Soon I will be in full force baby stuff making mode. I want to so bad but I am making myself finish some other things first! Other then the cold plague hitting the household, not much else is happening! Jarrod has to go out and shoot some deer I guess! ;)

Life Lately. . .

One phrase: Hunting Season.

Hahahaha we have been busy, busy, busy with either looking for something to shoot or dealing with something we shot!

Moose camp was so much fun and next year I will NOT be pregnant! It was full of 9 moose and good food and trying to find chickens! Next year we will have a baby which will make it super interesting but everything is an adventure right?

My house is still a disaster but I told Jarrod my goal was to get all my dishes done today. So I can't get out of it. There still isn't too many places to put things but we are adapting.

Pregnant update:

How far along? Almost 27 weeks.
Maternity Clothes? Some yes and some no.
Best moment this week? Playing cards with friends.
Not so good moment this week? Ah being sick and not sleeping.
Movement: Yes. Loves to kick me in the bladder. Haha
Gender: Still not finding out. . .
Food Cravings: Milkshakes. Even though Doctor Makin told me to lay off junk food in the last trimester so I don't have a huge baby haha.
Anything make you sick or queasy: Not eating every two hours. And raw meat.
Symptoms: Legs HURT and headaches like mad. The heartburn is still there too.
Emotions: One word. ROLLERCOASTER.
Looking forward to: Getting my house cleaned for the first time in weeks?

We got our debt consolidated. BEST THING EVER even though Jarrod is second guessing. BUT I AM IGNORING HIM!!! CAUSE IT HAS RELIEVED SO MUCH STRESS ON MY PART!!! Yes we do have to pay around 800 dollars insurance a year but we also went from a 20 some % interest rate to a 3% interest rate. We go down from 1200 dollars of payments getting nowhere a month to 600 dollars of payments a month with our debt being gone in 5 years. Saving us about 700 of interest a month!!! AHHHHHH!!!! And I dont have to track 6 different payments. Only one. Sweet! 

I have a doctor appointment this Friday. Every appointment that I have had they have moved up my date so due date is now Jan 20th. So I probably wont be moving up anymore. Dang it haha. I'm officially 4-5 pounds over my pre pregnancy weight. So I decided I need to start walking more. Therefore I walked to get coffee with a friend today. Haha start slow lol.

And I got my hunter number! So now I can get a hunting license and fill my own tags! 

Hunting Season and More

It's Monday. And my house is a disaster. But I did start on my dishes. And sort of cleaned up a couple rooms in the house. Had to go to Prince George at 4 thirty this morning to drop off my work truck. Now I am owning the Jeep. I am trying to figure out how I can "clean up" our house and make it a bit more simple and such. It's just very very FULL. I don't know. We will be in transition for a couple years till we get the reno's we want done but I don't know. There are some things I want to do to make the house a little more functional especially with kids. I am just trying to figure out how. I think once we get more cabinets it will help as well cause there will be more storage space. But it's all work in progress. Sometimes I just wish it would go WABAM and all be done.

Saturday night Jarrod and I went hunting. It was fun. Next time I will dress warmer though! I was fine till I stood up and caught the wind. Then I froze! We didn't get anything but saw a cow moose and calf and 2 bears.

Work is wrapping up. I am procrastinating a bit with the paperwork but I should get it done. Grrr.

BUSY

How far along? 23 and a half weeks
Maternity Clothes? I CAN STILL WEAR SOME OFF MY OWN!!! BOOYAH
Best moment this week? We went quadding which was nice!
Not so good moment this week? Haha I swear everything that could have went wrong . . . DID
Movement: YES!!!
Gender: Still not finding out. . . But everyone swears we are having a boy. We will see haha
Food Cravings: Mashed potatoes!!! YUM
Anything make you sick or queasy: Not eating all the time haha
Symptoms: Legs HURT and headaches like mad. The heartburn is still there too.
Emotions: Tired usually and just impatient
Looking forward to: Getting my carpet gone and PAINT!

Soo I KNOW I haven't blogged in FOREVER. So much has happened and is happening and I have a headache so I don't feel like doing much of anything that I should be doing right now.

And we moved! We did move. It honestly did not take that long and we worked our tails off to get it finished. We unpacked almost every box within the first 2 days of being in. My feet seriously ached every night to the point where I dreaded walking the next day. Then we started to realize how small it still is. It's alot bigger then what we used to have but we seem to have TONS of stuff too! Soo we took out a wall. Haha yep. This past weekend, Jeff was over so we took out a wall. The wall the separates the kitchen and living room. What we didn't realize was the living room power went through the ceiling and we cut the cord accidentally. The breaker was flipped so no one got shocked but for 2 days we could not figure out why the sockets were not working!!! We went through everything we rewired, checked everything, rewired again. Thank goodness the house didn't burn down. Finally this morning Doreen came over and we dug back into the other side and found the cut wire! Praises be!!! Now everything is back in operation.

My husband has been a little stressed lately. With the electrical being all haywire, everytime he tried to fix it NOTHING worked. He spent hours going over his work and it seemed that more and more things  went wrong. His shift at work got changed, suddenly he wasn't getting sleep, locked the keys in the truck with everything we needed for quadding in it, didn't have time to eat cause we were late, didn't have time to fix the quad, couldn't find tools, woke up to late to hunt. You name it, it seemed to go wrong. But slowly we are putting everything back together.

My cousin had her baby!! Congrats to Megan and Nathan for their baby boy. We also bought some flooring and paint for the living/dining room on a sale which was awesome! Flooring was darker then we thought we would go but hopefully it will do ok.And Jarrod built me a greenhouse! :) AND I ended up taking the CORE course totally last minute. So thats been 3 nights a week for the last week and this week which sucks up so much time! But oh well. Hopefully I pass the test on the 2nd and then it will be over. And Jarrod is happy I can put in for my LEH's next spring haha.

Work is wrapping up. It has totally gone on the back burner with everything thats been happening lately. Hoping tomorrow I will get it all wrapped up. Then just a few more things and it will be done!

HALF BAKED!

How far along? 20 weeks
Maternity clothes? Yes. Still wearing some of my own though. And a few of Jarrod's.
Best moment this week: House getting semi in order
Not so good moment of the week: Still sick.
Movement: Not that I know of. Jarrod has said he has felt some though.
Gender: Not finding out.
Food Cravings: Grilled cheese.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Roasted garlic.
Symptoms: RLS and headaches and puking.
Emotions: Mostly just intolerant and TIRED.
Looking forward to: Quilting!

Updating . . . . updating. . . .

How far along? Almost 19 weeks
Maternity clothes? Yes . .  I am huge. It's confirmed.
Best moment this week: Hearing there isn't much work left!!!
Not so good moment of the week: Still sick. . and packing packing packing. . . . . 
Movement: Not that I know of.
Gender: Not finding out.
Food Cravings: GRILLED CHEESE!!! And KFC Big Crunch Sandwiches. . .YUM
Anything making you queasy or sick: Onions, garlic and salad dressing.
Symptoms: RLS and headaches mostly.
Emotions: Mostly just intolerant.
Looking forward to: MOVING this weekend!!!!!!!

Ah not much is entirely NEW lately but we are packing, packing, packing! Becki came and helped me clean a bit which was awesome!!! And I found out that I may only have a few more days of work left which is kind of awesome even though we will be down to one income! AND JARROD GOT A NEW JOB!!!! He works for Pitka Logging now but a position came up for processor with Sob Lake Logging the other day so we decided to call and see what was up. But this job includes more hours, better pay, better benefits and NO CAMP!!! But Jarrod is back to processor operating much to his dismay. Hopefully it will all work out though! I think he is kind of excited to come home every night. Hmm well hopefully we get the keys tonight for our house and I can blog all about that next! :)

Edmonton, Work, Weddings and Puking. What fun!

How far along? 17 weeks
Maternity clothes? Yes . .  I am huge. It's confirmed.
Best moment this week: Ah probably finally getting our mortgage signed!
Not so good moment of the week: Driving round trip to Alberta with no A/C. Windows open equals great head and earache.
Miss Anything? Feeling good? 
Movement: Not that I know of.
Gender: Not finding out.
Food Cravings: Big Macs and grilled cheese.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Jarrod's eggs with garlic and onions. Gag me now.
Symptoms: I hate RLS. It seriously is so hellish. Some days I have it ALL DAY LONG and then I can't sleep cause I have it all night. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.
Emotions: Stressed a lot faster, forgetful and IRRITATED. My patience is thin! 
Looking forward to: MOVING MOVING MOVING. I seriously see more and more spiders in my house everyday. Yuck. I am scared to put anything on the floor and usually make Jarrod check it first.

It's so funny. Pregnancy puts you on this complete roller coaster and getting married and buying a house just adds to the fun. Well it's not THAT funny. Actually it's more frustrating, conflicting and irritating. Sometimes to the point of being depressing. Explanation??

I am working right now. I love my job. I do. It's usually pretty low stress, I have a great boss and I like the pace and options I have with it and I get an amazing pay cheque every two weeks considering what I do. BUT I CAN"T WAIT TO NOT BE WORKING!!! Why you may ask? A whole whack of people when inquiring about my life and hear that I am taking lay off soon look at me with that look in their eyes like "Why are you not going to work? Women can work pregnant. I worked pregnant. It's stupid to quit this soon. You are going to regret it." And I understand their opinion and respect it but it's complicated for some of the following reasons:

1) When I am on full shift, Jarrod and I only see each other 4 days a month. People always go, well then you have no time to fight. WRONG. It means when you do see each other ALLLLL you do is fight because you both have different ideas of what you want to do, both of you can't agree on what to prioritize and you have been on different pages for the last two weeks because all you do is text each other a couple times a day. Every weekend I am home, we fight and fight and fight. And then he blames it on me being pregnant. Which is really annoying.

2) The house is Jarrod's, not mine. THIS IS SOOOO MUCH MORE FRUSTRATING THEN IT SOUNDS. Jarrod is home more then me and to tell you the truth I hate the house we live in but I am moving soon and I really hope there are some changes. But right now it is so frustrating because Jarrod is very stubborn and set in his ways with how the house is. Even with us moving into a different house at the end of the month, Jarrod constantly overrules me saying I can do this and can't do that and my idea is the dumbest thing he's ever heard and he proceeds to tell EVERYONE how dumb my idea is. This has to go on the walls and this can't and on and on and on. And I love him, I really do but if there is someone in competition to how stubborn I am, Jarrod would win hands down. I told him what I wanted to do with my closet and he proceeded to tell me I couldn't do that in MY closet because he hated that organization technique. I looked at him and said THATS MY CLOSET AND I WILL DO IT HOWEVER I WANT. You have your own. But anyways, once I am the one who is home everyday he can no longer one up me and say, well you are never home anyways. Roles will be reversed finally. Hallelujah. Then I can change it and he can come home and just survive with the fact that I already changed it. 

3) Jarrod really hates the fact that I work and wants me home. Most people tell me to just tell him to suck it up and deal with it. But that is almost impossible when you just want to avoid contention to get through your weekend. It's probably where the most tension is in our relationship and is so stressful and frustrating that I am willing to give in because some things just are not worth it. Pick your battles right?

4) Being pregnant and not being able to choose what you eat is a nightmare. Pretty self explanatory. Camp food is not appealing for those even in the best of health and with good appetites. Camp food for a pregnant woman who is still puking twice a day on a full  Diclectin dose? Yea, you get it. And it's so much more a bigger deal when you actually experience it. Imagining isn't enough. 

5) Always being the helped and never the helper. This is so frustrating right now! We have gotten so much help these last few months from friends and family. Almost every day I get a message from someone to come help with this please? Or they just assume I am in camp and I miss out. I feel so guilty always getting the help then having to leave to camp and never being able to help back. 

That's part of my freaking roller coaster. Seems like most of it has been downs rather then ups and I am tired of downs. I am tired of feeling gross and men don't really understand everything you feel it seems. Lots of times I feel defeated just all the time. It's like I am fighting to be positive about life right now and constantly fighting just makes me more irritated. Vicious cycle. 
  Anyways, fighting to be more positive! We went to Edmonton this weekend. My mom has been up visiting the last few weeks and it has been so nice to spend time with her I must say. We headed over to Alberta for Patrice's and Julie's wedding open house which was very nice I must say. The ride over not so much but we got to the hotel late Friday night and slept in. Saturday we went to Lammle's and Cabela's and spent way too much money. And I must say most of the money was on Jarrod haha. He even felt so guilty he started coaxing me to buy a ridiculously priced sweater that we CANNOT afford and I did think about it for a minute. But I resisted in the end because I would feel like an awful person for even considering a purchase like that right now. And I am very proud I didn't take advantage of his guilt so I would feel guilty later. He even said I could get something for the baby WHICH HE NEVER SAYS. But I resisted.  We did end up getting lots of Jarrod's get up for our wedding celebration next year and some hunting stuff that he could get cheaper there rather then at home. At least that's what he said to justify the purchases :) but I was ok with it. Better this year then next year when we are down to one income. Gulp.

Saturday afternoon we went to my parent's house to help set up for the open houses and it was so HOT! and the bugs were awful. In fact, we counted the bites on my legs later and there was over 20. Yuck! The bugs haven't been super bad here this year so I guess we have been spoiled. Anyways, we got ready and ate a quick bite of pizza (Thanks Lawrence). The open house was fun and the decorations were gorgeous. Everything seemed to go smooth thanks to my parents prep and the people who helped. We got a few wedding gifts too which was unexpected and nice. It was nice to meet my two new brother in laws haha the family sure has grown this year for sure! I somehow injured my knee on Thursday night and it ached all weekend which took it's toll. We tried to go swimming at the hotel after but it just ended up in me sitting in the water shivering cause I couldn't kick my legs without my knee rebelling. But that night I slept like a rock! 

Sunday morning was full of driving back home after I graced the parking lot with my morning nausea routine. The ride home actually went pretty fast even with the windows open. It wasn't as hot as the way there till about noon so we were a bit more comfortable. We stopped in PG and looked at dishwashers and other appliances and grabbed something to eat at Taco Del Mar. Taco Del Mar and pregnancy aren't the most awesome combination by the way. Just a warning to all those who suffer from All Day Sickness. By the time we got home, we were semi exhausted but managed to find some energy to semi clean the house and get a few things packed which was nice. We need to pack haha. Lots of it is but most of it isn't. I am soooo excited to move. Words cannot even express. :)

16 weeks and counting . .

How far along? 16 weeks
Maternity clothes? Yes, VV is awesome! 
Best moment this week: Marriage and crab from the ocean!
Not so good moment of the week: Still puking. . . and finding more spiders. And it seems that Jarrod and I fought for 3 days straight before we got hitched. Stressful.
Miss Anything? Being alot skinnier then I am now. 
Movement: Not that I know of.
Gender: Not finding out.
Food Cravings: Crab and Asian Salad
Anything making you queasy or sick: Getting married apparently.
Symptoms: RLS is still the biggest thing and just being tired with the nausea.
Emotions: Stressed a lot faster. 
Looking forward to: My sisters' wedding open house this weekend and MOVING!!!

continued

marriage is what bring us together today

So we got hitched. On August 11 2012 to be exact. We really wanted to get married next year but due to certain circumstances, plans changed. So we are still celebrating next year and would be overjoyed to invite all our friends and family to have a great time with us next year as this year really hasn't turned out quite as we planned.

Our wedding day was different. I, being the pregnant soul that I am, started to get ready at 630. And could NOT keep anything down. It was horrible actually and I had left the Diclectin in camp. We had a mortgage signing appointment at 900 at the bank so we attended that and managed to get most of the paperwork finished. We rushed to the pharmacy after the appointment and I literally begged for an emergency supply of drugs. The pharmacist was very accommodating and we then ran to Co-op to get something I could hopefully keep down. We also realized that Jarrod still didn't have a ring and considering it was Saturday and Vanderhoof has a lack of jeweler's, we resorted to search at the Dollar Store. 3$ later Jarrod had a lovely spider embellished ring that semi fit. Score.

So we went home and I tried to gather everything I needed to finish getting ready and finished putting mascara on my eyes and we headed to Larsen's. Gramma proceeded to do some finishing touches to my dress and I kept having problems with my contacts. My eyes were clouding over and I honestly could see nothing. I ended up taking the left one out and surviving with the right only. I finally got dressed and was given a gorgeous sunflower bouquet my aunt Jenni had made me. Like gorgeous and better then anything I could imagine. We then walked to the back where everything was set up for the ceremony. Honestly, the nervousness hit like lead. Like suddenly I was chattering nonsensically away. Bah.

So around the back I went. And now I know why people have wedding rehearsals haha. Dad asked how we walk down the aisle. I HAD NEVER BEEN MARRIED! I didn't know! Ah!!!! There wasn't much room for us to both walk down the aisle side by side. Apparently I kind of ditched Dad cause I started walking so fast that he was struggling to keep up. Good job Anna. Nervousness obvious? Check that box. So I took suggestions from the crowd once I got up there considering I looked like a lost puppy that was on an undetermined mission. Heck why didn't they all give me pointers before?? So there I am standing across from Jarrod for about 2 seconds and I realize that I had no idea where his 3$ ring went. No idea. Had a mini panic session. Oh whatever. And then I felt awkward. Everyone is looking at you and I could barely look at Jarrod and I was sooooo nervous. The sayings of the ceremony kind of feel like a blur and then we exchange rings. Now Jarrod and I had agreed to get my ring later as the house is sort of a priority right now and I can survive without a ring. And suddenly he pulls out this ring that we had looked at probably a month after we started dating. Apparently I looked a bit shocked and all I could manage to say was You Brat!!!" Who says that during their wedding? Well I guess I do. Put another check next to that one. Then I had to tell everyone I sort of had no idea where his ring was. Check again. So we sign away and it becomes legal.

Here is my ring :) Thank you Doreen and Chuck, my wonderful inlaws, for pitching in for it and arranging to get it here in time!

Then we head back to the house for a little lunch. For our wedding present, Becki and Carl did the planning and prep for the ceremony and made a wedding cake for us. And the cake was perfect and completely adorable. Insert picture here.

Amazing job!!! We love it!!!

We are so grateful for the work that everyone had put into our little ceremony, for coming, and thank them so much for their time, support and generosity.  Another thanks to Ellen Brooks who also planned my bridal shower and Becki who hosted it. This day could have never happened without everyone who was involved! We love you all. Hopefully next year we can treat everyone when we celebrate this special moment in our lives.

15 weeks. . . And life update

How far along? 15 weeks, 3 days
Maternity clothes? Yes, some.
Best moment this week: Seeing my momma,  my bridal shower, camping and everyone that has been so generous with their time and effort lately. BIG THANKS
Not so good moment of the week: Still puking. . Blah
Miss Anything? Jarrod. . . Stupid camp. 
Movement: Not that I know of.
Gender: Not finding out.
Food Cravings: Smoked fish, Kit Kats, WATER
Anything making you queasy or sick: Anything first thing in the morning usually and ONIONS! haha
Symptoms: RLS is the biggest thing and just being tired with the nausea.
Emotions: Just get irritated WAY faster. Especially when I am tired.
Looking forward to: Well we are getting married this weekend and I am excited haha but I think I am almost more excited to move at the end of the month. Want to get out of this little house SOOO BAD!

I am so excited to move. Like I can't quite even describe. I am hoping it will take a lot of stress away and that maybe we will start to settle a bit. I can't wait to be home and decorate my little place and have a garden. If only it had 160 acres with it. Sigh. Guess I can't have everything. Still will have to wait to buy a second horse and just keep Buckaroo at Joni's for now. She has been a great help since I have no where to put him myself right now. The home inspection was on Friday and the inspector found a few issues but nothing life shattering which was nice. Sounds like I will be working till around November which will be nice for finances but Jarrod wants me to quit so that causes tension. We all love tension :(. 

Then we went camping for the weekend. I never realised how heat can literally KILL your energy till right around last weekend. I had energy to do NOTHING. But I have a great mother and in laws and future husband who were great and made up for what I couldn't manage to do.

So I have been Etsying and Pinteresting like crazy with ideas for our house and the baby!! Can I say addicted?! Jarrod doesn't get it but my friends do! I am hoping I can make most of what I see. We will see if I can keep the bug haha.

That's it for now! At least I think?

13 weeks update

How far along? 13 weeks, 5 days
Maternity clothes? Ah whatever I have found second hand around town, so yes.
Best moment this week: Finding out there is cell service at Mount Milligan
Not so good moment of the week: Camp food and still puking.
Miss Anything? Being able to eat normally and sleep well.
Movement: Nope
Gender: Not finding out. Have had dreams about both.
Food Cravings: Berries, Subway and cheese.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Everything it seems. Though if I push myself and load hay or something like that, sick bad for DAYS.
Symptoms: RLS like crazy!!! Headaches, nausea, puking, sore, waddling already :( cause your hips just feel sore, HEARTBURN, peeing 10 times in the middle of the night. You know? The usual
Emotions: Jarrod says I am crazy most times. I just lose my cool fast usually.
Looking forward to: GOING HOME. And moving. And just being less stressed. Is it bad I am tired of working already?

Starting the BLOG

All my friends have blogs. I started one but haven't been so diligent in keeping it up. But to tell you the truth, I read like everyone else's and have been extremely bored lately. With my role as housewife looming in the not so distant, even though it feels like distant, future, I thought I better jump on the bandwagon. And work is really slow and we just got internet. So why not?? I haven't really figured the ins and outs of making my blog "pretty" but hey, maybe I'll get there one of these days. So here's to the start of our little redneck family. Jarrod and I met through a friend one night in February and haven't really been apart too much since. Soon we found out most of our friends are mutual so it's basically a miracle we hadn't met previously. Mutually, we have agreed the timing must not of been right. Or our friends are just jerks. We sway between the two options regularly. Since then, we have fought, gotten along, had some embarrassing moments and fallen in love. Who knew right? So we went ring shopping. Well I went and he followed. And then the morning sickness hit.

3 weeks pregnant with morning sickness?? Jarrod insisted it was the flu and I was just "imagining". But even in his denial, I had a feeling. One HPT later, it was official. Actually two. The first one "malfunctioned" which you think would be impossible but no. And I was no less sick. So here I am 13 1/2 weeks along, still sick as a dog, drugged up with Diclectin at work blogging. And it's not twins. Already had that ultrasound.

Jarrod proposed sometime in June I think? Haha I made him go to the Vanderhoof Horse Equifair with me and watch the Parade of Breeds for about 4 hours. He wasn't the happiest camper till we got home and he asked me to undo his velcro sandals. Seriously?? Undo your own shoes! As I walked away, he grabbed my arm and got down to "undo his shoes" and asked me to marry him. Awe, how sweet. We plan to celebrate our marriage next year when we were originally planning to get married on Canada Day long weekend because then we have time to plan, I won't be 16 weeks pregnant, we won't be stressed about buying our house and we really want to have a good time with all of our friends and family.

Oh yea. We are buying a house. Hopefully. Because that's what we said about the last two houses we put in for. Financing is approved and home inspection is Friday with, fingers crossed, good results?? Just for insurance now which shouldn't be too much of an issue. This is our starter home. It's small but will serve us well for the time being till we build our own shack. Plus, it's smaller to clean right? I guess we will live in town for a few years, get some boat and quad payments off our plate. Jarrod won't be able to shoot naked off the front porch but he will survive I guess.